Is lesbian separatism possible in 2023?

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Reader’s Question: How do you see lesbian separatism in the current age of hyper-individualism? Do you believe in it, what can it look like?

Separatism, at its core, is about independence. Cambridge Dictionary defines separatism as “the belief held by people of a particular race, religion, or other group within a country that they should be independent and have their own government or in some way live apart from other people.” 

In 2023, when it’s cool to be fluid and non-specific, lesbian separatism can be as simple as defending the definition of lesbianism. The lesbian sexual orientation is an independent, defined class of female homosexuals who should not be appropriated. Only female homosexuals should govern lesbianism. But beware – saying that will get you classed as a gatekeeper.

Separatism is very important for the oppressed. Lesbians should be distinguished as a group separate from any larger non-lesbian body of people. Yes, even the LGBT community. Erasing specificity and making everything “queer” does not serve homosexuals. It does not serve lesbians. Lesbian separatism is about protecting the material, unique class we belong to.

Dictionary definitions describe differences. Difference is great. In a way, dictionaries practice separatism. Language separates things from one another by naming how they’re different: the very core of what makes things things is what makes them unique from other things. Lesbianism’s uniqueness, what makes a lesbian a lesbian, is being both a female and a homosexual. A lesbian is a female who is exclusively attracted to other females. We don’t abstain from any dormant attraction to males – it doesn’t exist.

Defining things accurately increases the distinctness of their outline. Like a muscle that’s been worked repeatedly, or a TV with all the technological bells and whistles to make the images crisp and clear, definition is about quality and clarity. Quality and clarity require separation, whether it be sifting flour before baking, or filtering water to make it drinkable. Separation is essential to navigating the world. Separation is a normal part of life. 

Lesbians require separation to make sense of themselves.

We define what exists so we can communicate reality. Acknowledging that bisexuality, heterosexuality and homosexuality are separate sexual orientations with separate definitions does not create differences. It refers to differences that already exist. We didn’t separate ourselves, nature did. It’d be pretty boring if we were all the same.

You will hear people say the anti-separatist mantra “sexuality is fluid.” It is convenient for the powerful–those who gain power for being opposite-sex attracted–to leave homosexuals without distinction. Without distinction, without a unique language to pinpoint and explore that distinction, oppressed groups cannot articulate their treatment. Their treatment, ironically, is because they are different to what’s expected and everybody knows it. Even the anti-labellers.

Reproduction is still considered humanity’s main purpose. Forced reproduction is the root of both misogyny and homophobia. Patriarchal religion did a number on us. A homosexual body doesn’t want to fuck the opposite sex, no matter how many times we’ve wished it would… or even forced it to do the act without desire. We’re considered defective because of this lack of reproductive attraction. 

A bisexual is redeemable to heteropatriarchy because they are attracted to the sex they can reproduce with. Hallelujah, at least you have ‘normal’, child-producing desire! Heteropatriarchy doesn’t mind same-sex attraction as much if you’re capable of attraction to the opposite sex: the sex you’re “supposed to be” attracted to.

The homosexual experience is different. The female homosexual experience threatens the foundation of heteropatriarchy. *Gasp* females can have sexual and romantic desires independent from the existence of males? Females can be born with the trajectory NOT to desire males at all? ONLY desiring other females? *Faint*

Oppressors deny the oppressed separation because they expect us to assimilate to the larger powerful body for a sense of belonging–which is very important to tribal creatures–or else we are considered a threat to be punished. We can pretend to be what’s demanded of us, even to ourselves. That is how some lesbians date and sleep with men, despite their true nature, before acknowledging their lack of attraction to them. But we cannot change our nature, even by force. 

When it’s argued that sexual orientation isn’t innate, that it’s a spectrum–that we’re all bisexual with preferences–then homosexuals are denied themselves. It’s ironic, considering our difference–our attraction ONLY to the same sex–is the exact thing targeted by homophobes.

All people belong to the larger body of humanity. But we are different to one another based on things like ethnicity, sexual orientation, income, biology and ability. In the words of an important Australian song popularised by the Seekers: “we are one, but we are many.” We must zoom out, “we are one,” when appropriate, and zoom in, “we are many,” when discussing interactions between various types of people. 

Politics is defined by the way different people interact. Our interactions are influenced by power, culture, history, context, authority, institutions and environment, among other things. Pretending we aren’t separated into classes, often hierarchised into powerful and disempowered people, keeps rulers dominating. It’s gaslighting.

Naming differences shouldn’t hierarchise them. That’s why it’s imperative we simultaneously remember we are, whether we like it or not, always part of the larger human body regardless of how remote we live with our own kind. We are different. But we are all humans. Separatism and integration can coexist.

Separatism can be as simple as advocating for lesbianism’s definition: female homosexuality. Unfortunately, people go as far as to accuse us of being exclusionary, as if we’re bullies for being female, being homosexual, and defending lesbianism as the word to describe female homosexuality. There is a huge difference between oppression and hurt feelings.

The decision of when to separate and when to integrate should be class-based and/or personal. But the lesbian’s choice is consistently made public. We’re guilted for not crossing our boundaries and integrating when it’s demanded of us. We’re guilted for wanting a room of our own.

The expectation that lesbians never separate, never outline the definition of our sexual orientation–and are punished if we do–is symptomatic of our oppression. Disempowered classes of people need space away from the powerful. Is it shocking that there is so much resistance to lesbian separatism when we’re both homosexual and female? I don’t see male-only gay clubs getting the same reaction.

What does lesbian separatism look like?

Most lesbians (86%; 1200 responders) on the Lesbian Herstory Instagram believe that lesbian separatism should look like a series of approaches and levels of commitment, rather than an ultimate destination (such as a remote lesbian commune). 

Some approaches to lesbian separatism that people mentioned:

• Creating, supporting, defending and engaging with lesbian-only spaces
• Questioning society and how suitable it is for us, not the other way around
• Building and prioritising lesbian community and connections
• Being respected and accepted as a separate, unchangeable sexual orientation 
• Living with only lesbians
• Learning about and supporting the most disempowered lesbians
• Deliberately choosing lesbians over and over again
• Lesbians making, enjoying and celebrating our own culture
• Consuming lesbian media, especially made by lesbians
• Learning our history and passing it down
• Standing up to lesbophobes, including female homophobes
• Buying from and supporting lesbian business owners
• Uplifting, investing in and donating to lesbian charities, organisations, websites and initiatives 

Just over half (56%) thought lesbian separatism was necessary, the same percentage thought it was possible.

One person critiqued lesbian separatism as “not caring about the rest of the community by caring about self-identity and safe places.” Lesbians do not self-identify as lesbians, however, we’re female homosexuals whether we identify as one or not. We are oppressed by the rest of the community, meaning our seeking safety and encouraging resistance is not the root of the issue but a reaction to it.

Another said that lesbian separatism is about “removing men (and their culture) from your life, centring your life around women.” The glaring problem with this take is that it equates lesbianism with feminism. As if lesbianism is the feminist choice to centre women: the very concept of “political lesbianism.” Unfortunately, political lesbianism has strong ties to feminist land separatism and its history. When I say “lesbian,” I mean female homosexual. When I say lesbian separatism, I mean female homosexual separatism.

I believe in lesbian separatism as an adjective to describe a range of choices more than an absolute noun. We don’t have the power to slice ourselves off from the body of humanity, becoming a fully separate chunk of flesh living untethered to our natural core. But we do have the power to advocate that our natural differences are not problematic. To be respected and kept safe from hate-motived violence. In a world that erases lesbianism, any meaningful lesbian-centred action is separatist. 

We ostracise lesbians from living a more lesbian-centred life by suggesting integration and separatism are mutually exclusive. Suggesting they are an either/or proposition creates two camps of lesbians: lesbians crossing their boundaries to integrate into harmful homophobic monoliths for a sense of belonging, versus pariah lesbians who are outcasted by the aforementioned homophobic monolith for defining themselves separately. 

Many lesbians “queer” themselves, desperately avoiding the same fate of the pariah lesbians who acknowledge lesbians are a distinct class of female homosexuals. Everyday kinds of separatism, like refusing to call yourself “queer” and opting for specifics, requires confidence. Confidence is stolen from lesbians. Instead, our female-socialised accomodating nature is preyed upon so we feel too guilty to build a community of our own. Lesbian separatism is not only possible but absolutely necessary.

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